Thursday, March 29, 2001

Anything else you'd like to spring on me, world?

Wednesday, March 28, 2001

My linguistics professor is a world-renowned "the" scholar. She said some phrase today like "the hierarchies of cool in nerdism," and I realized that not everything in the world is crap, as I had previously thought. My linguistics professor, my favorite philosophy professor, a couple weblogs, and the word "purple" make life worth living. Take what you can get, I suppose.

In other news (mainly about me) (I do not deny but bathe myself in my self-concernedness), the spring weather, while beautiful and nothing short of perfect, is bothering my bum knee.

Tuesday, March 27, 2001

Hey - even though it takes awhile to load, go to "Alice Got Lucky" now. It's a cool cool blog by a seemingly cool girl.
Had my 2 philosophy classes today. I think I'll end up thinking a whole lot about Descartes this quarter, which is alright, because I have no hatred for Descartes (that other people around here seem to have in abundance) but I've already studied him a lot. Both classes, though, concentrated on him. He's a good place to start, I suppose. Yeah, some of his ideas (one word:"corpuscles") are a little kooky, but he was living during the 17th century for crying out loud. Cut the guy some slack.

Creative Writing later. It's a night class. I hope hope hope it doesn't blow. Have no reason to expect it to, but I usually have one bummer class per quarter and the other ones look promising. 4 hours to kill between classes is a bit excessive - maybe I'll work this time for the rest of the quarter, instead of sitting around. My concentration today is *gone* so much minesweeper progress has been made.

Minesweeper, by the way, is the devil.

Monday, March 26, 2001

Apartment... freezing. Body... tired.

Monday morning. Struggling with the chronic.

Today is my first day as a vegetarian. Seemed like it was time. See you in hell, meat!

Sunday, March 25, 2001

Why you not lettin me publish, fool?
Oh, yeah, over the past week we went and visited a certain university in a certain part of a certain state, and found it to be the most bland college campus in the history of man. If we end up going there, which wouldn't be terrible or anything, because it's a friendly and pretty place, I would have to dye my hair blue and buy enormous pants, onto which I'd sew patches advertising bands with menacing names that I've never heard of. Actually, I'd only have to safety-pin most of them on. That seems to be the rage these days. I'll also wear tight t-shirts that talk about how I'm various types of "grrrl"s, and probably pierce some part of my face. I would do all these things partly to expose the identical students there to "urban punk" and partly to amuse myself and prevent death from boredom.
Classes start again tomorrow. Strangely, I'm looking forward to this. This weekend was one of accomplishment. We superglued my mirror back together, so I can see behind me again while I'm driving. I got textbooks, which is part of the reason I'm looking forward to my classes. The one for the fiction writing class was a tad dissapointing, but it probably isn't a preview of the level of the class. (Hopefully...) Right now I'm "organizing" things, kind of. I, in a feat of amazing strength, bent the hell our of my hole-puncher, so I have to go try to find another one. That brought my master plan to put into binders ever piece of paper that I've saved from every class here at State to a sad standstill. Now I have a neat pile of ever piece of paper that I've saved from every class here at State. It's a start.

After I post, I'm going to go search through my car to see what neat stuff built up there over the winter. On the first day of winter, I clean out my car because I know I won't do so for the rest of the season. It's too damn cold to warrant that kind of craziness. It's now snowing, but after this fit of "organizing" I should probably actually complete several tasks that rest upon things that I think are out there.

Wednesday, March 21, 2001

La. Taxes suck, but at least I won't have to worry about them for another while. Weehoo.

One of them redeemed herself last night. We had a nice long conversation over cherry cokes. One-on-one is usually much better. People are typically much nicer like that anyhow. Maybe I should give up on groups altogether.

Work did suck yesterday, indeed. First thing in the morning my coworkers decided to mock my life decisions. Lots of folks are so eager to look down on Humanities majors, and the next person who makes mention of my majors with regard to the "real world" is going to get mercilessly poked in the eyes. At least I'm doing something that I love. At least I'm not prostrating myself openly to the Man and giving up on happiness. At least I'm trying.

Monday, March 19, 2001

post, damnit
so where do you draw the line at other people's self-absorption and your own annoyingness? it's hard for me to tell. not a single question was asked of me. (perhaps one about the rest of my break.) not a drop of interest was shown. i stopped volunteering information about halfway into the night. (hadn't volunteered that much to begin with.) am i that boring? are they that rude? does anyone give a fuck? ... guess not. i should stop staring into them, hoping for something.
Well, there was virtually no gossip. I was disappointed, and am a little concerned about the fact that the board, when I left, was almost completely full. (Full is ideal.) My job tomorrow is also described as board-filling, and I doubt the board will go down enough to warrant me spending another 4 hours on it. Which means that I'll probably be given an alternate task: shelf-cleaning. How badly do I need this money? Badly enough to have needed to work 4 hours more than I did today and at least some on Wednesday, which I'm not scheduled for. This is not looking good.

And yet I'm relieved that I don't have to work very much.

Word. I spent the first hour of awakeness wandering around the house. Then we took the cats to the vet. They really didn't enjoy any of it, not even the pillow-case rides. I work at 4, which should be fun. A good part of going away is that a whole huge cache of gossip builds up and explodes upon my return in a festival of talk. Oh yeah. Work gossip. My life is exciting and fun.

Friday, March 16, 2001

I spent a harrowing 3 days getting to Denver and back and in the middle of that, giving a Writing Center presentation with a couple other people. I'm trying not to ask myself whether or not it was worth it.

I slept for what I think was over 14 hours. I hadn't slept in a whole lot more than that. Now I don't know what to do. Could really use some food, and a shower.

I hate fighting with my other, because 1) it feels terrible and 2) it only serves to remind me that I have *nobody* else. Nobody here, at least.

It's finals week - Friday of it, that is, so nobody actually has a final today. The Frosh are being thrown out of the dorms as I write this. Because it's not Spring Break yet, I don't have to feel bad about wasting the first hour of my awakeness on the internet. Next week I will.

Thursday, March 08, 2001

Well, we had our last poetry class meeting today. It was one of the sadder last meetings I've experienced. Nobody wanted to leave. As if that weren't enough, towards the end of class, my intellectual water broke and I now know what I want to study. Like, for real in terms of my life. Like, try to write about, publish, and live off of. I figure that I've been writing this blog since about August and nobody has spontaneously written me a check for enough money to live off of and mailed it to my door once a month, so I've been trying to come up with a backup plan for if that doesn't start happening soon.

La. I made a word collage the other day (notebook paper and ink, blue and black) and it's brought me great pleasure. I write down song lyrics, things that I hear, mis-hear, and things that I think - fun runs o' words - in different inks, handwriting fonts, and sizes. This is all part of the major effort called "Keep Me Awake In Class." It works most of the time. And then, when I look back on ones I've made a while ago, I can't remember what came from where (except for most of the lyrics) and so I can inadvertantly gank cool stuff other people have said in passing. ... It also seems kind of sixth grade, but what the hell. I enjoy it.

Wednesday, March 07, 2001

Hum. I like both sinceritybird and bluishorange. (Sorry I'm not technologically advanced enough to link to the actual parts.) And the people upstairs are back to the thumping and giggling. Forget this, I'm going to work.

Tuesday, March 06, 2001

they are giggling and rolling above me. *thump.* *giggle.* enough!

Things are going fast. T'is the last week of the quarter, and suddenly I have a second wind instead of the desire to die so I don't have to hand in any of this shit that doesn't exist yet. I'm using the extra energy to read _The Bell Jar_ again, not because it's been assigned, but because I like it, and I looked at it sitting there on my shelf today. (*thump, giggle*.)

The monetary woes of late have been postponed for another pointless month, thank godd. Now the woes are of an uncertain future-y nature, which is probably worse. At least the money problems are straightforward - you need money that you don't have. Not many factors to deal with there. But now, now there are so many contingencies to think about instead of sleeping at night.

Well. Goodbye secret anonymous voice. Tomorrow.